The Confession About Asexual & LGBT Family

There are many different types of sexual minorities in the world, and ‘ asexual’ is one of them. An asexual is basically a person who doesn’t want to have sex with others.

It is divided into those who want to be in a relationship and those who do not have such feelings at all. A person who does not have a ‘love feeling’ is classified as ‘A-romantic’. There is “eumantic” among non-sexual people, and there may be people who like it, but they don’t want to have a relationship. “Muromantic” and “Eumantic” must be clearly distinguished.

Not many people are aware of the worries or frustration of such an asexual.

Kao Rui

“I came out as a ‘sexual’ to my parents and my boss. But no one understood me like that.” These are the words of Kao Rui, 49, who lives in Tokyo, Japan. She is a ‘moromantic’.

As she became a senior in elementary school, she was asked by people around him, “What kind of celebrity do you like?” or “Who is your ideal type?” Her friends also started talking about love.

But she said she had never felt a “love feeling” and that no one was attracted to her regardless of gender. The same was true even after adulthood. She confessed that she thought, “Maybe I’m lacking something, or maybe I don’t know something important?”

Whenever such a story came out, she always lied and avoided it, fearing that it would look strange, to be honest. At first, she believed that it would be different if she actually dated someone. She first dated a man in college.

“It was awkward to hold hands with my boyfriend and I couldn’t feel any attraction at all. It’s the word of Kaoru. Then I read an essay about sexual minorities. When I first found out that there was a term ‘sexual’, my heart jumped. I felt relieved that there were people like me in the world.”

She couldn’t tell her parents this at first. Her mother saw a gay man on TV and said, “My family can never understand.” “I thought my mother would never understand me,” Kaoru confessed after seeing the scene.

The reason she decided to come out was at a company dinner five years ago. Her boss said, “Why aren’t you getting married? It’s not too late,” he said.

Suddenly, Kaoru plucked up his courage. “I told my boss I’m asexual and I’m not getting married or giving birth in the future.” Of course, her boss didn’t take it seriously. However, Kaoru added that she felt much more comfortable.


Dentsu, a Japanese brand, surveyed 6,240 Japanese people in their 20s and 50s in December 2020. As a result, 90 percent said they knew what homosexuals meant, 87.8 percent were bisexual, and 63.8 percent were transgender. On the other hand, only 5.7 percent understood the meaning of “asexual “. Among the various sex minorities, the non-sexual had the lowest public awareness.

According to a survey conducted in June 2020 by the Aro/Ace charity, a non-sexual support group, 56.9 percent said that non-sexual people have difficulties in their daily lives because of their identity. There were opinions such as “I feel difficulties in partner relationships (27 percent) and “I often get unpleasant questions (26.3 percent).”

The respondents, speaking on condition of anonymity, said they were “not human,” “not attracted to men and women is a disease,” “just because they have high eyes,” and “because they have no experience.”

Haruka Imadoku, CEO of the Rainbow School, which supports students with sexual minorities, said, “Parents with non-sexual children are harmless but can easily say hurtful things.” “I often recommend marriage or childbirth because I am worried about my child. But those words can put a lot of pressure on the person.”

I hope that the stereotype of happiness will disappear when you meet someone, have a relationship, get married, and give birth. There are many ways to enjoy various lifestyles and happiness in the world.”

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