There is a saying that when you get married, your “relationship” with your partner naturally decreases. Sex expert Nadia Bokody explained the real reason for “the reason why your wife doesn’t want to have a relationship with you.” It is content that not only foreigners but also Koreans can sympathize with.

Through the Australian version of News Dotcom, Nadia said, “This is because married men usually don’t do housework properly and act like children.” Many men often avoid housework by using the bathroom, not closing the toilet lid, throwing clothes randomly, or saying “I can’t do it.” Nadia added, “This is a major cause of lowering women’s sexual desire with ‘childish infantile behavior’.”

Photo by Seangraphy

Nadia pointed out, “Some men act so ‘incompetently’ because they have learned that it is ‘beneficial’ to do so.” “The infantilization of men is no coincidence, nor is it that women like such immature adult men’s behavior. This is the result of socially intentional and learned behavior. Psychologists sometimes describe it as “an act that uses incompetence as a weapon.”

In other words, in reality, if men are not “troubled” even though they have the ability to properly help women with housework and women’s work, it is an intended action that women eventually intend to take over. According to a study published in the Wall Street Journal in 2007, people are often “strategic incompetence.” This is because if you look incompetent, you can avoid things you don’t want to do.

An Australian study found that women, on average, work 21 hours a week more unpaid than men. This was the same when a woman played the role of “head of the household.” In other words, the claim that ‘men work more outside’ also loses its effect. Moreover, women’s housework is still difficult to be recognized as “a proper job.” In fact, even though it takes a lot of effort to do housework while staying at home.

According to Nadia, women have to work more, so they are more stressed, and naturally, their libido decreases. In addition, you may feel that your husband, who uses “incompetence” as a weapon, is not attractive.

Married women bear the burden of most housework and sometimes have to be the parents of their “childlike” husbands. Naturally, interest in having sex is bound to fade away. Some argue that women’s sexual desire is inferior to men’s, but scientifically, this is being refuted.

According to a medical study, men actually tend to underestimate their female partner’s sexual desire. In addition, according to a study published in the British Medical Journal in 2017, women are twice as likely to lose interest in sex as men if they live with a “male partner.” Nadia focused on the ‘male partner’ part of the study.

The real problem is that when some men live with women, they act “uninterested” and “incapable” in their lives together. Nadia suggested two solutions. “First, stop treating your husband as if he were a child. Ask your husband to establish a relationship as an equal participant in life together. Men should also actively help women as adults. If you still remain selfish until the end, seriously consider ending the relationship. You chose to live with your husband, not as a babysitter for an adult.”